The Odd Weddings of Windsor
by pknels
Summary: Summery: In the Marry Wives of Windsor Fenton, Caius, and Slender all attempt to run off with Anne Page at the same time. Obviously only one actually takes the right one. The three men and their “Annes” all show up back with everyone at the same time. Tw


-1Summery: In the Marry Wives of Windsor Fenton, Caius, and Slender all attempt to run off with Anne Page at the same time. Obibously only one actually takes the right one. The three men and their "Annes" all show up back with everyone at the same time. Two of these men are married. Did anyone stop to wonder what happened to Caius and Slender during this gap?

_Caius and boy (Creed) he believes is Anne Page at the church taking their vows in front of the mister. Caius is holding a struggling Anne Page._

Minister: Caius Do you take Anne Page to

Creed: -Please Minister hear me

Minister: I will hear you when it is your turn to speak Miss. To be your lawfully wedded wife

Creed: But sir it is vital to my life that you hear me!

Minister: It is vital for your soul for you to hold your tongue.

Creed: But SIR you do not understand.

Minister: (loudly) -WIFE TO HAVE AND TO HOLD.

_Slender and Boy (James) he thinks is Anne Page come on to the stage. Slender dragging his "Anne Page" by the arm._

James: Unhand me degenerate.

Slender: I am not a degenerate for my love for you could never become weak. I will love you forever my dearest Anne.

James: you fool I am no women. I am a child

Slender: Ahhh this is true, Love. For you are still a child until you take my hand in marriage. Only then will you become a women. In a moments time I shall no longer be a child and I will make you a woman.

James: Oh god protect me.

Slender: They shall beloved. The virgin mother shall watch over you for a little while longer, but soon she shall pass her guardianship over.

Minister: So long as you both shall live?

Caius: I do.

Minister: And do you Anne

Creed: _(Overlaping)_ -Sir I

Minister: It is still not time for you to talk women.

Creed: But minister, doctor my name is Creed. I am

Caius: _(overlaping) _ -Zat iz true mon petite. Hue are my creed and I vill worhip you furever.

Minister: Continuing on do you Anne Page…

James: You twit! Do I look like a women? Can you not see that I am a boy?

Slender: Nonsense you are no less of a women then I am a less of a man.

James: I can not argue with that truth

Slender: Remove all ill thoughts of your figure from you silly head for you have the figure that any and all women would praise above all else. Yours is what all women should strive to be.

James: Hey now… wait, really? You really think so? Hmm…

Slender: You need not worry that you are not worthy of my love. I know I am a exemplary specimen of manhood. But do not fear I won't stray.

_Spoken completely over each other._

Creed: Minister Please!

Minister: -Love, honor, and obey as long as you

Creed: - Lets be reasonable

Minister: -both shall live?

Creed: -I do believe that you misunder…

Minister: -I now pronounce you man and wife.

Creed: -What!?!

Minister: You may now kiss the bride

Creed: -WAIT!

_Caius removes the part of the fairy costume that is covering this bride's face to kiss her._

Caius: Hue are not Anne Page. Who are hue and why are hue dressed as mon bride. Why do hue wear green? Dis had better not be another trick by that Host. You shall pay dearly for your treachery boy.

Creed: I tried to tell you, you fool but you would not hear me out. I do not know who is more of a fool you or that idiotic minister.

Caius: I shallenge hue boy to ze death. How dear hue make me ze fool.

Creed: Is that anyway to treat your new wife? You are the one that made the fool of yourself, not I.

Caius: We vill go to ze magistrate and zee what can be done about dis

Creed: That Husband must have been the first intelligent thing you have ever said in your entire life.

_Caius and Creed Exeunt_

Minster: Well that was a bit odd. Ho hey comes a real couple to be wedded. This couple will be a perfect match for each other. I can tell these sort of things. That other couple seemed off straight away.

Slender:Good evening minister.

Minister: Why do you come to me at such a late hour?

Slender: We wish to be married.

James: _(Overlaping)_ -Actually he is an id

Slender: _(Overlaping)_ -We wish to be married as soon as possible.

James: How may times do I have to say this I am not a girl, woman or anything in between.

Minister: Oh God not again. What is it with men these days. Can they not be content with the women of the village? Two of them in one day maybe I should switch to more of a fire and brimstone type of preaching. I should probably make a note to tell Evens as well.

Slender:What are all of you talking about minister, my dear Page what is going on?

Minister:Slender you are the second man who has tried to marry a little boy. Honestly what is the world coming to. How dare everyone make such a mockery of the church. I am not sticking around to be made a fool of.

Slender:Anne?

James: I am not Anne you imbecile. Look

_Takes off costume._

James:See I told you. I can't believe that someone as foolish as him could live this long. I prey to God that he never has children.

_Exit_

Slender: What happened to my Anne?

_ Exit_


End file.
